Broaden my perspective....

Lately I have been thinking a lot about politics and things that relate to me as a christian. I have felt conviction for not being more interested in what is going on in foreign countries. I know that I am called to be a missionary and yet I have not found the drive to keep myself informed on things going on in foreign countries. I know the bare minimum that I need to know. I now know that I need to make an effort to be more knowledgeable about things going on in this world. 

I have been struggling with knowing "where" God wants me to go and I think part of that is that I am not allowing Him to speak to my heart. I can't want to help people that I don't know need help. I have to know where the need is and let God speak to me through that need in order for my "human" brain to understand what only the spirit can reveal...

I want to be used by God... I pray for Him to keep me in a place in my life where I can be used by Him and for His Kingdom... I don't ever want to be too busy to do what He wants me to do... Or even have obligations that my flesh has brought on that keep me from completing His will in my life. I am glad that I am in a place where I am not married and have children right now because I know that I am more easily used at this time in my life than I will be when I have children.

Well I got off on a tangent there... LOL. Well I am now just rambeling and need to go to sleep and make sure that I am staying rested up to be able to hear what God is wanting me to do and to be lead by the Spirit every day instead of by the flesh.... 

Self Discipline---I really need some... ;)

Well I am finding myself slipping away from things that are important for me. I know that I am in school and homework is a priority but I find myself saying that because I had to read a book of the bible for a class, that is my bible reading for the day or even the week. I need to discipline myself more with my time with God. I also find myself cutting my prayer time with God short. There are some things that the Lord has put on my heart to do  lately and I have been lazy and just procrastinated to do them. I need to get myself motivated and just make myself do them. There are things in life that I find I want to do, I just don't know how to begin. I want to lead a more disciplined life and not let things (Facebook) get in my way of my relationship with HIM... I am proud of myself though, for the last couple days I spent more time just being by myself and not on Facebook, I like the quiet that I am getting and also the stress that crocheting is now relieving in my life. I have an awesome big project going and I can't wait for it to be done and give it to a special person in my life. I am glad for what is being done in me and in my life. I see myself changing and I am going to now start making a conscious effort to do the things I know I need to, and get enjoyment out of.

Thank you Lord for loving me enough to discipline me....

Changes

This picture describes how I feel from these last couple years of my life...

I have been cut down to nothing... Had all the bad parts of my life taken. Was given a chance for new growth. Had some trimming and "pruning", maybe even a little discipline done but it is all showing fruit now. My vine has new growth. I am seeing it flourish everyday. Everyday that I overcome temptations that seem to pop up too easily in my life. I see it when I find myself enjoying crocheting with the girls here and watching Jane Austen movies. That would never have happened just a month ago. I am loving all these changes happening to me in this new journey I am on with God. He is showing me who he made me to be and not what everyone else has expected me to be. I like what He sees in me. I am starting to see it myself. The one thing that I love about getting closer to God is that He is the best mirror we could own because when we get closer to Him we start seeing the things that need to change in our life and about us. I LOVE IT... I know it is hard to get used to at first and accept that it is ok to have flaws to let Him change. But that is the KEY, we have to let Him change what we see wrong not us try to change it ourself. I just learned to be open to what He wants to change me into because I learned that I will never get what I want if I am standing in the middle of the store screaming at the top of my lungs "OVER HERE OVER HERE THIS IS THE ONE I WANT" When He is on the other side of the store with a much better choice but we can't see that far and so we have to be willing to walk away from what we think we should have and what seems nice right now as we are next to it.... and walk towards Him and what He has and as we get closer we can see that it is made of the finest fabric and our favorite color and fits us just perfect and makes us look great so that we can in turn glorify HIM... I am willing to step away from what I think I need or want and let Him give me that "perfect fit"... He knows me better than anyone.. He knows my thoughts before I think them He knows when I rise up and whey I lye down.... HE EVEN KNEW ME BEFORE HE KNIT ME IN MY MOTHER'S WOMB.... I LOVE THAT PART.... And He Still Loves Me!!!!!

Same story different year....

So we are rounding the time of the year again where we bring out the red and pink hearts and we give over priced chocolate and flowers to the ones we love.... yes you are right, I am talking about Valentines day. This has always been one of those holidays I question of why do we wait for one day of the year to make it so special? Christmas is the same way. We give presents and recognize Jesus but when we think about it shouldn't we be doing that everyday. Well Valentine's day can come back to the same thing. Doesn't the scripture talk about love your neighbor as yourself? That is actually a COMMANDMENT of the Lord. He didn't say wait til one special day of the year and love you neighbor, he said love your neighbor. That means that is supposed to be done everyday. I know your probably saying that you give your husband, boyfriend, wife or girlfriend a gift not just anyone. Well why? I ask you who is your neighbor? Is it necessarily the person you live next to? NO. It is anyone you happen to be next to at any given time of the day or your life. We are to love always and love everyone as we love OURSELVES. WOW. Some of us need to realize we don't do a very good job of that either. We can't love anyone else until we love ourselves the way we are supposed to and catch this one... we can't love ourselves until we learn how God loves us and accept that love the way it was meant to be in our life. WOW that was a big bite to swallow I know. I had a hard time grasping this concept. I am still working on applying this every day in my life. I once saw a man I know on Valentine's Day (which was on a Sunday last year) go to church and worship God the way I always saw him worship... all out.... and during that worship he took a card he had in an envelope of place it on the altar... He then went on to tell the congregation what God had put on his hear that year. He had been struggling with wanting a wife and family. And always saw Valentine's Day in that perspective and was feeling bad that he would not have anyone to share that with this year. Well he realized he had the greatest Valentine of all... JESUS... So he loved God the way that we should and recognized that that was a day to be set aside to love but that it should be done every day in the same way... Well I am excited to tell you that this year he will have more than just a Valentine but he has a wife by his side to share his Valentine with (Jesus). So the first commandment is to Love the Lord your God with all your hear, soul and mind... and then love your neighbor as yourself... So I think we need to get the idea during this love season what the Lord is trying to show us... We need to be showing love to people all days of the year not just on one day because that is the commercialized day... I pray that you are all filled with the love of God in your life and that it will overflow into those that are around you at anytime of the day in your life.