I found my heart at the bulk bins in WinCo....

Today was a very exciting day for me... LOL... Yes I went to class. Church History is just amazing. I am learning so much. After class I decided since I was already in school mode I would get some homework knocked out. Well I went and turned the classical music station on my ipod app Pandora on. I did some homework. I then went and had some lunch and Laura my dorm mate invited me to get out and go to the store with her...


Well I have to give you a little background about me before I go any further... When I was little my grandmother had a friend that her mother was in a nursing home... Her name was Theresa... And I loved her dearly. My grandma would take me to the nursing home often and I would go around and visit all the people and push them in their wheel chairs. They loved me and I loved spending time with them... I have had a heart for the elderly since then...


So back to today. I was in WinCo with Laura and they have this section where you can buy candy and other things in bulk. Well we went around and she got what she wanted and then we went to go down this isle and I noticed this elderly man next to one of the bins. I didn't think anything about it and we came up the other isle and he had stopped there and had his head down like he just couldn't go on anymore. And I noticed that he had a neck brace on and I just hurt for him. Even writing this right now I am crying because I remember seeing him. I saw the struggle he had to just go grocery shopping. I wanted to walk over to him and tell him to go wait in his car and I would do his shopping for him. 


With all that, we kept shopping and I could only think about him and what it would have probably meant to him to have some one come and help him.


I started thinking about all the times God had laid on my heart about the elderly. I wondered why I feel for them so much and then I get along with them also. I have come to the conclusion that I am supposed to have some elderly ministry in my life. And I am still praying and will be praying for a while until I get a clearer answer... but I think it entails some type of home ministry for them. To go and visit the shut ins that can't get out and just visit and do things around their house for them or go shopping for them. I would love that... I think I want to call it the "adopt a Grandparent" ministry. 


I am praying that God can help me build this ministry and will bring others into it that want to and have the fire to do this and care about it. I know that if this is what He wants me to do He will provide everything I need including a car. Well today I found my heart in the bulk bins of the WinCo and I am grateful for the vision and what God can use... If he can speak through a donkey He certainly can use the bulk bins... LOL anyways... In thoughtful prayer... God bless

Renewal

It was an amazing night of worship and prayer with my sisters and brothers here at school. This experience just keeps getting better and better. I know for sure that I have been called here "for such a time as this". Life could not have more perfect timing for me. I am in a great school, making great friends and absolutely finding  myself admiring a friend more and more everyday... I know that can sound weird. BUT it's not. 

I got some much needed healing tonight in our night of worship. I found something that I needed to set at the foot of the cross, at Jesus' feet, and let the continual flow of blood saturate it and make it new and cover it. I just love how He can do that. Something I was told today made me think. Do we know that the blood that was shed on calvary 2,000 years ago still flows to this day and will keep flowing until Jesus comes back for us and there is no need for His blood after that. I don't think some people realize that today. That is what we are saved by today, not our works or our good behavior, it is BY HIS BLOOD. And by accepting and realizing that is what He did for us. And to realize that we are sinners and need a savior. WOW... that hit me today and I just felt so much better about my relationship with God. I know that when I struggle with something I can take it to the cross and I can lay it down and He will make it new again. I love it. I have to admit that I mess up on a daily basis. I am far from perfect, if that even exists. 

I think I struggle with things sometimes that it feels like no one else around me does. But that is why I have a high priest that has been through everything I have and can take my sin to the Father and say hey.. I have had to fight that and it is not easy... so I think we should give her credit for realizing it was wrong and wanting to make it right...(repenting). Isn't that amazing... Jesus does that.. the bible says that he intercedes for us... WOW I am one lucky person to have Jesus as my "accountant" LOL... that is loosely stated... But He goes to bat for me when my knees are knocking and I am all bruised up and can't go another inning. THANK YOU!!! I love Jesus so much... 

So that is pretty much what happened for me today... with a little sadness, a little happiness, some excitement and then some forgiveness... we all need that sometimes.... Now I am going to get a little rest. Till next time... May you know that you are loved and cared for beyond anything you could imagine....

Loneliness and Homesick!!!

So I have only been here for 2 weeks and I am already missing my family. It probably has a lot to do with my dad having to have surgery this week. I wish I could be there with him. It is hard being so far from my family. Even though I know this is what God wants me to do. I just wish it could be different sometimes. I want to be able to have people around me that understand me in different ways sometimes. 


I find myself wanting a family of my own more and more these days. I really want to find that person that I can spend the rest of my life with and have some kids and just serve God. It seems like it takes me 3 times as long as anyone else to do some things. All my friends around me are getting married and having kids and I am starting a long journey of education. I love it... don't get me wrong. I just want more than just this... 


I guess everyone has those days where it feels like nothing is right and you get a little down. But I know I will pull out of it. I get to go to crocheting tonight with the girls and watch EMMA. SO excited. So those are good times. Just there is more to life than hanging out with girls and crocheting and doing homework and going to class... I want more and just don't know how to get it...except to wait on God because I know nothing is good unless he is the one doing it. So I will stand here and know you are God and that you have a plan and purpose for my life. 

Love struck and watching way too many chick flick romantic movies!

So does love really happen the way it does in movies? I don't think so. I have been in several relationships in my life and thought I was "in love" several times and ended up just "in infatuation". I think that is what a lot of us end up falling into. We don't even know it until that person is up and gone and we don't even know how it happened. "I thought it was going great, I thought that he was almost ready to commit". YEAH RIGHT...

I sit here and watch all my friends live this life now of love and happiness and family. I sit here and live the life of a girl in bible college and looking for that man that will put up with here and will be willing to let her follow what God wants her to do in her life. I don't know how love works into that but I am hoping that it can maybe be the dessert I get with it. I just want what God has for me. I just wish it would come a little sooner than it feels like it is coming. ;) 

I think of all the times I have went searching for the right person and it failed. So I am trying my best to sit back and let this one happen on it's own. Well I hope it does. Of course I would be interested in the hardest person to read in the world! And he doesn't take a hint.... Well I wish I could just post it on his facebook in bold letters I LIKE YOU AND I HOPE YOU LIKE ME TOO!!! LOL That would not only be embarrassing but also just plain outrageous. But needless to say I want to take that risk and tell him that I would like to date him and see what could happen. It would be nice if I could remove the chance of rejection and awkwardness. But I guess love comes at a price. If it isn't worth making a fool out of yourself over maybe it isn't worth it at all... 

I am going to now go and curl up in bed and listen to some sappy song and fall asleep dreaming of the day that I can say i took a chance and I got what I wanted out of it... Good night

Have we "recieved" His grace and mercy?

I have come to the knowledge that I am not the only person that struggles with receiving grace and forgiveness from my Lord. We hear and know that He sent His one and only Son to be the sacrifice for our sin and that His blood covers our sin. But do we REALLY believe it and receive it for ourselves? 

Do you sit and dwell on what sins you have in your past? 
Do you feel guilty for what you have done?
Do you wonder if God could really forgive you for that?
Do you worry about whether you are going to do it again?


We all have a sense of how we are never going to be like Jesus here on this earth. We all know that we are sinners saved by grace. But that grace is not only given one time. It is in your life everyday. God knows that we are going to slip up and make mistakes and sin. But that is why we have a relationship with Him so that we know that we can go to Him and ask for forgiveness and receive His love and mercy and let Him heal us.  


There also is a healthy thought of our past also that we need to keep in perspective. We need to keep in mind that those were things that we were tempted with and that Satan has a knowledge of that have some sort of ability to get us. So we have to guard ourselves from that. But we need to remain in a state of heart and mind knowing that we are forgiven and loved by the KING OF KINGS and LORD OF LORDS.... He is the same yesterday today and forever. He will love us always because He is love and He can not deny Himself and if we have asked Him to come and live in our heart and life then we have Him in us also in our being because He created us in His image. WOW that is a God I am proud to serve and call PAPA. 


My prayer tonight is that every man and woman would come to know the grace and forgiveness that God has for them. That every person that sits in a pew or chair in a church would really know that they are forgiven and that God doesn't want to be reminded of what He already cast into the sea of forgetfulness.. He cast it as far as the east is from the west... It is a garment that you do not have to put on anymore.. It doesn't fit anymore.. Now he wants to put his garment of praise on and the robe of righteousness. Lord I pray that you make yourself known to those that haven't yet come to know who you are and the capability you have in their life. I also want to be used to spread that word of your love and forgiveness.. I pray that we learn to live like we are forgiven and that it would spread to others through our actions... Lord I thank you for your Son Jesus Christ and your forgiveness. Lord keep watch over us as we sleep tonight and let our spirits come and rest in you tonight and that when they return to us when we wake that we would be refreshed and be ready to do the work in us you have planned. AMEN...

A little info...

So I have begun this blog mainly for a scripture meditation group I have joined. It is said that it is good to journal about what you are getting while meditating on God's Word. I decided since I hate writing that this would be much easier for me to do. I am also going to be utilizing this for other purposes also. I want to keep account of my new college life also. 

I have currently began my freshman year at Salem Bible College of Northwest University. I am on my way to an associates and then on to my Bachelors. I am excited to be here with new people and also living in the dorms is already showing to be an interesting experience.

I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this year and what journey I go on. I am here and open to what He wants and has planned and I am opening my life even more to the knowledge of who He is in completeness. So I hope you enjoy reading this encounter of my life and the insight I might attain during my meditation this semester on 1Timothy.