1 AM THOUGHTS

Thinking....thinking.....thinking.... That is all I can do the night before my finals. I have so many things going through my head right now. I am thinking of taking tests tomorrow and how I need to be up early and that I haven't studied for them the way I should have. I am thinking about how my fiance just told me that he wants to go away even further away from me to Curlew Washington to Job Corps to be a forest ranger. That would put him far away for 8 months. I know I will be in school for most of those months I just thought this was going to be easier this next semester. I thought he would be closer so that I could visit on the weekends and we could start actually building a tangible relationship. Now it will be once a month if we are lucky that I can go and see him. I know that through the trials God will make us stronger, but that doesn't mean that it isn't still going to be difficult. I know that this is something he has always wanted to do and that I am in school too and so we both are winning in the end. It has been a hard road so far and hate to see what this can potentially do to our relationship. What doesn't kill you can only make you stronger. I know that he is committed to me but the insecurity fairy in the back of my mind still likes to whisper in my ear. I have been to a Job Corps and I know the kind of things that go on there and the type of people that usually go there and it just doesn't settle right with me. But I am learning to respect him and his choices and I know in the end this would be awesome for us financially and he would be happier... and that is all I want is for him to be happy. Well I think I got it all off my mind and I can fall asleep... GOOD NIGHT....